Thursday, 24 June 2010

Food, glorious food?

Have you ever been so obsessed with something that it consumes your entire life; that you spend every waking (and maybe even sleeping) moment thinking about it? Does something have such a hold over you that you are unable to do anything else except focus on this need?

Well, I have now fallen victim to all of the above and my sadistic captor is...FOOD.

In all honesty, I have always LOVED food, not in a 10-tonne woman way, consuming a loaf of bread at a time, but in a respectful manner, enjoying my meals, having a sweet tooth and looking forward to each mealtime.

But since becoming pregnant, my love for food has taken on a whole new level. I fear hunger, I feel it creeping around me, waiting to pounce. If I allow hunger to take hold, I can be stricken for hours, caught in a limbo land of needing food, but not having the mental or physical strength to obtain it. I believe this is where the obsession to keep eating has sprung from.

My day will start innocently enough with cereal (naturally) with raisins at about 7.30am, but then by 9.30am the panic begins to set in that I won't make it to lunchtime without my friend hunger turning up. This in turn, seems to send an invite to hunger to arrive at my house around 10am.

With hunger now making itself at home, I am in a dilemma as to what to eat, do I have some toast, but this is like a second breakfast which must be bad, or it's an early lunch, also morally wrong. So maybe fruit or yoghurt, but then I normally have a yoghurt at lunchtime and I can't have two in one day so that's out.

I plump for fruit, being virtuous and healthy. But fruit is a traitor, it turns on me in the most degrading way. It makes me MORE hungry. What is it with bananas that stimulate hunger. They are sick, mentally unbalanced yellow fruits. They are not my friend.

By 11am, the obsession is fully underway and I am beside myself with indecision. Do I have half the cinnamon bun, do I have a small bowl of ice-cream, do I just have my lunch early??????????????

The by-product of this craving is that I have begun to stockpile food just to ensure there is also something available to eat. Bread, milk and butter are filling up the fridge because the idea that I choose cereal to eat for there then to be no milk is incomprehensible.

Today is a particularly hard day. I have somehow simultaneously run out of fruit, yogurts, chocolate, sweets and teabags. I know I can go to the supermarket and stock up, but hunger has taken hold and I am paralysed on the sofa.....................

.......will I make it? Will my blog live to see another day...will I?

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear from you so comment away!