Thursday, 21 July 2011

A Year, In a Day

This time last year I still hadn't met you, you were just an abstract being in my belly, flailing around and causing me to drop to all fours in agony on the pavement at will as you pushed your head down deep inside...

This time last year I was still Pregnant Clare, I hadn't yet passed over to the Promised Land, the place beyond 40 weeks...motherhood...

This time last year I hadn't laid eyes on your beautiful (large, 9lbs!!!) head, your perfect body, fully functional, complete with fingernails and everything...

This time exactly last year I was strapped up to IV lines and foetal monitors; I slept my last sleep with you on the inside in the hospital bed and waited patiently, watching the hours tick by slowly as the anticipation and excitement built steadily within.

Tomorrow is your First Birthday, already! We have cake and a candle, even a special birthday girl party hat. It's all for us really as you don't understand the significance, it's just another day for you.

When you popped into my life last year you were not what I expected. I never dared to believe there was a real baby in there so when I saw you, you blew my mind and covered me in a fog of disbelief which numbed me. In the first few weeks following, the fog began to clear and I saw you properly for the first time. You, our child, our incredible achievement, borne from me, of us. I saw my past, present and future in you, stretching out well beyond my life on this Earth. 

You complete me in every way. You teach me about myself daily. You are merely 12 months old but already so bright and funny, intelligent and caring.

Where the next 12 months take us, I do not know. I don't dare to dream about the person you will be by then. There surely won't be room in my heart for all the love and admiration...

Happy Birthday to my pigeon pie. You are, without doubt, the BEST! 


  1. Fantastic post, and a massive happy birthday to Imogen today! I can't believe how the time has flown and I've just been keeping up electronically!! You're a fantastic inspiration Clare, just hope I can do the same one day xxx


  3. happy first birthday! what a cutie you have.

  4. Thanks Rebecca! I've just seen your doggie on your gorgeous blog, he is so cute! We have a mini goldendoodle who is completely bonkers - is your dog a crazy loon? Is it the poodle in them?!


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